If you can speak what you will never hear, if you can write what you will never read, you have done rare things.
~Henry David Thoreau

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Pimping Out My Favorites

Everyone has a list of favorite things, right? Well, I have a list of favorite sites, articles, and blogs takes up a large file on my laptop. So I thought that I would share a few of them with you.

~If you don't mind hanging around with a bunch of snarky artists (and non-artists) who make fun of other's terrible crafts, resellers posing as handmade artists, and just general art fuckery- www.regretsy.com is the place for you. Not for the faint of heart.

Newbies, be warned- posting 'First!' as a comment or having a pole up your ass will quickly get you shot down and torn to shreds. They love sarcasm and wit, not whiners. My favorite site.

~Cracked.com has a great article on Bizarro fiction. I'm always excited to see Bizarro get a bit of the limelight. http://www.cracked.com/funny-8020-bizarro-lit/

http://bizarrocentral.com/ is a fantastic source for all things bizarro- books, reviews, publishers, etc. They even have a Bizarro Brigade that you can join to spread your love of these weird works.
I'll be updating this post frequently as I think of interesting places to get lost on the web.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Murder is Cool, Just Don't Show Your Ass

Why is is okay to show scenes of horrific violence on television but not a pair of breasts? I could never figure this out. Murder, torture, rape, drug use, prostitution, etc- all perfectly acceptable as long as you don't show more than a hint of flesh. Or say the word fuck.

Is is because Americans are holdovers from their Puritanical roots? Yay to murder and mayhem but nay to the sins of the flesh. Are people really so threatened by a person expressing their sexuality that they must make all these contradicting rules to 'protect the children'?

I'm not saying that we should just start plopping scenes of people screwing into television shows but is a pair of breasts going to collapse society as we know it? I feel that same way about cursing. Yes, I am aware that some swearing is acceptable, but why is bitch fine but not goddamnit or fuck? Saying god is fine, saying damnit is too, but put both together and the FCC bleeps you out.

Obviously, cable television and late night time slots are given more leeway but even they are strictly regulated. And fined heavily if they break the rules.

I'll give an example- I was watching a Lifetime movie where a guy attacked his estranged wife, in full view of adults and children. He stabbed her in the back, then proceeded to kick the shit out of her while she was on the ground. Not once did he swear- even as he jumped on her head.

I was nauseous after watching that but, hey, at least they didn't show her ass, right?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Grammar Wars

I love languages-the constant evolution of verbal and written communication. I can't speak for other languages, but English changes so rapidly that I can barely understand what kids are saying sometimes.

I spend a fair amount of time on Youtube- watching old MST3K episodes, Craig Ferguson, SYTYCD, The Voice, etc. The commentary left by other users is amazing at times- amazingly incoherent and ignorant. I read posts like this and nearly shit myself:

Diz shit iz fer realz.

U r 2 ct, grlfrnd.

ThIs ShIt SuX!

Why, for the love of all that is sacred, why?! I am okay with text speak- when you are texting. Emoticons are fine (almost) anytime- I use Lol and :) in my writing blogs- it makes it easier for people to know that you are joking/being sarcastic. Keep in mind the examples that I provided are just basic sentences. I have read entire paragraphs of this, my brain threatening to leak out my ears as I struggle to interpret what the writer is saying.

The last example throws me through a loop- why do people type like this? Alternating upper and lowercase letters- what possible purpose does that serve? It takes much longer to type and just looks as if you have way too much time on your hands.

I don't get it- do people want to sound uneducated? Or do they really think that proper spelling and punctuation don't matter? I can guarantee that it will matter the next time that they fill out a job application, apply for a loan, or do their homework.

I have also gotten into strange debates about homophones and homonyms. Homophones are words that are pronounced the same, but vary in meaning and spelling. Homonyms are spelled and pronounced the same but have different meanings.

The last 'arguement' was actually quite funny because the person (man/woman- I have no idea) had commented on a video that they didn't get a joke that a comedian made about having no idea that there was an apostrophe in the word taint. (By the way, their comment was thumbed up 38 times) I said it depends of which meaning on taint you are using. He/she said 'I don't get it.' I had to explain that taint has at least three definitions.

Taint- to corrupt/contaminate
'Tain't- slang for it ain't (isn't)
Taint- the area between the testicles and the anus

I could have been more precise but the comment box only allowed for a certain amount of characters. I just have to wonder about people sometimes... If you are sitting in front of a computer and read something that confuses you, look it up. It only take about 30 seconds and -Presto!- instant knowledge.

On a side note, I detest when writers change the spelling of any word that has 'man' in it. Womyn, wimmim, herstory, etc. It immediately turns me off of whatever they are writing. For fuck's sake, just leave the word the it is supposed to be spelled.