Pimp my poetry

This is the cover to the first anthology where I am going to have my work published. I would do a happy dance and shake my pom poms but I'm not that perky :)

Putrid Poetry & Sickening Sketches

Poetry and Zombies...

Art and the Undead...

Terms that may not seem to go together, but after seeing what the living dead poets have placed on these virtual pages with their rotted hands, you just might think again. What you hold in your hands is a fan-freaking-tastic collection of zombie-themed poetry and art some names you probably know as well as some new writers you may not know. Either way, you are in for a treat! Bon appetite!

Pimping Out My Favorites

Everyone has a list of favorite things, right? Well, I have a list of favorite sites, articles, and blogs takes up a large file on my laptop. So I thought that I would share a few of them with you.

~If you don't mind hanging around with a bunch of snarky artists (and non-artists) who make fun of other's terrible crafts, resellers posing as handmade artists, and just general art fuckery- www.regretsy.com is the place for you. Not for the faint of heart.

Newbies, be warned- posting 'First!' as a comment or having a pole up your ass will quickly get you shot down and torn to shreds. They love sarcasm and wit, not whiners. My favorite site.

~Cracked.com has a great article on Bizarro fiction. I'm always excited to see Bizarro get a bit of the limelight. http://www.cracked.com/funny-8020-bizarro-lit/

~ http://bizarrocentral.com/ is a fantastic source for all things bizarro- books, reviews, publishers, etc. They even have a Bizarro Brigade that you can join to spread your love of these weird works.
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I'll be updating this post frequently as I think of interesting places to get lost on the web.

Murder is Cool, Just Don't Show Your Ass

Why is is okay to show scenes of horrific violence on television but not a pair of breasts? I could never figure this out. Murder, torture, rape, drug use, prostitution, etc- all perfectly acceptable as long as you don't show more than a hint of flesh. Or say the word fuck.

Is is because Americans are holdovers from their Puritanical roots? Yay to murder and mayhem but nay to the sins of the flesh. Are people really so threatened by a person expressing their sexuality that they must make all these contradicting rules to 'protect the children'?

I'm not saying that we should just start plopping scenes of people screwing into television shows but is a pair of breasts going to collapse society as we know it? I feel that same way about cursing. Yes, I am aware that some swearing is acceptable, but why is bitch fine but not goddamnit or fuck? Saying god is fine, saying damnit is too, but put both together and the FCC bleeps you out.

Obviously, cable television and late night time slots are given more leeway but even they are strictly regulated. And fined heavily if they break the rules.

I'll give an example- I was watching a Lifetime movie where a guy attacked his estranged wife, in full view of adults and children. He stabbed her in the back, then proceeded to kick the shit out of her while she was on the ground. Not once did he swear- even as he jumped on her head.

I was nauseous after watching that but, hey, at least they didn't show her ass, right?

Grammar Wars

I love languages-the constant evolution of verbal and written communication. I can't speak for other languages, but English changes so rapidly that I can barely understand what kids are saying sometimes.

I spend a fair amount of time on Youtube- watching old MST3K episodes, Craig Ferguson, SYTYCD, The Voice, etc. The commentary left by other users is amazing at times- amazingly incoherent and ignorant. I read posts like this and nearly shit myself:

Diz shit iz fer realz.

U r 2 ct, grlfrnd.

ThIs ShIt SuX!


Why, for the love of all that is sacred, why?! I am okay with text speak- when you are texting. Emoticons are fine (almost) anytime- I use Lol and :) in my writing blogs- it makes it easier for people to know that you are joking/being sarcastic. Keep in mind the examples that I provided are just basic sentences. I have read entire paragraphs of this, my brain threatening to leak out my ears as I struggle to interpret what the writer is saying.

The last example throws me through a loop- why do people type like this? Alternating upper and lowercase letters- what possible purpose does that serve? It takes much longer to type and just looks as if you have way too much time on your hands.

I don't get it- do people want to sound uneducated? Or do they really think that proper spelling and punctuation don't matter? I can guarantee that it will matter the next time that they fill out a job application, apply for a loan, or do their homework.

I have also gotten into strange debates about homophones and homonyms. Homophones are words that are pronounced the same, but vary in meaning and spelling. Homonyms are spelled and pronounced the same but have different meanings.

The last 'arguement' was actually quite funny because the person (man/woman- I have no idea) had commented on a video that they didn't get a joke that a comedian made about having no idea that there was an apostrophe in the word taint. (By the way, their comment was thumbed up 38 times) I said it depends of which meaning on taint you are using. He/she said 'I don't get it.' I had to explain that taint has at least three definitions.

Taint- to corrupt/contaminate
'Tain't- slang for it ain't (isn't)
Taint- the area between the testicles and the anus

I could have been more precise but the comment box only allowed for a certain amount of characters. I just have to wonder about people sometimes... If you are sitting in front of a computer and read something that confuses you, look it up. It only take about 30 seconds and -Presto!- instant knowledge.

On a side note, I detest when writers change the spelling of any word that has 'man' in it. Womyn, wimmim, herstory, etc. It immediately turns me off of whatever they are writing. For fuck's sake, just leave the word the it is supposed to be spelled.

Read A Book, People

It amazes me how many people tell me that they don't read- or even own a book. I can't relate to these people. Hell, I can't even date them. If I had a dating profile, the first line would read 'Must love books'.

My mom had a book plopped into my hands before I even had the dexterity to turn the pages by myself. By the time I was four, I could manage the simple ones- 'See Spot run', Sesame Street, etc. She instilled a love affair with the written word that has only deepened as I've grown older.

My mom has never been a novel reader, but she loves cookbooks, books on crafting and digital art. Whereas I prefer novels, short stories, unusual trivia, even an occasional graphic novel. My point being that none of these are better than another- as long as you are reading you are learning and broadening your horizons.

I have no idea how many books I own (hundreds, I'm sure) or how many books I have read  (my library trips always involve a stuffed backpack). I have never read something because it was expected- the exception being the classics shoved upon us in high school. Some were good, some bad, and some were edited by our school before we were allowed to take the book home- which, in my mind, negates the purpose of reading the text.

I am by no means a literary scholar. I don't engage in debates about Byron or the content of e.e. cummings prose, but I can give you a lively arguement about 'Dracula' and 'Nosferatu' versus 'Interview With a Vampire' and 'Twilight'. Bram Stroker and Henrik Galeen would be turning over in their graves if they saw the prissy vampires of today...

But that's a topic for another day.

I suppose my love of reading is what lead me to write. The ability to create worlds and shape them any way I choose has always appealed to me. Being able to create a character that a reader can empathize with is a wonderful gift. My favorite books are the ones that have made me laugh, cry, or even turned me on.

Find a book like that and you will be hooked for life.

Zombie Squirrels Don't Eat Nuts

Yes, my Photoshop skills(?) are sad, but you can't complain about seeing a zombie squirrel. Enjoy :)

Oh well, I least I can paint a little.

Now if I can just make a zombie cat eating the koi...

Really? Tell me more...

I research everything, especially about sex.. One could say that its a hobby of mine. I collect tidbits of unusual information and save them up in case I can ever use them in one of my erotica stories. I now know more about kinks, quirks, and fetishes then I ever thought that I would need in a lifetime.

I have to admit my fascination with people's sexual proliclivities. I wonder how people realize their interests- are they always there in the back of their mind or are they introduced? Did nude magazines introduce men to the idea of having a menage a troi with two 'lesbians' or is that just a lovely fantasy from boyhood? How does one realize they are into golden showers?

I'm not making judgements here- as long as everything is consensual and involves two adults (or more), have at it. I find it strange that so many people are uptight talking about sex- I suppose it is because they fear judgement and don't want to be labeled a freak, weirdo, pervert, etc.

Years ago, I watched an episode of CSI where the murder victim had a secret baby fetish (paraphilic infantilism). He had a nursery built into a hidden room off his bedroom and wore all the trapping of an actual baby. I believe he even had a wet nurse who cared for him.

While I have no interest in wearing diapers, the breastfeeding aspect of that particular fetish is interesting. Although I would rather be the provider instead of the drinker. That led me to a search of adult breastfeeding in relation to intimacy, rather than baby play. It appear to be relatively common for women who are already breastfeeding (or those who induce lactation purposely) to use the feeding as a way to bring a deeper bond with their partner.

I'm also fascinated how people can be turned on by something a simple as a smell, sound, or taste. I had a roommate years ago who would get an erection everytime he smelled peaches- even he didn't know why. Classic conditioning, I suppose. I personally have a thing for women with sexy, smoky voices. If you have ever heard Kate Mulgrew (Captain Janeway on ST:Voyager) speak, you'll know what I am talking about. She's almost twice my age but still yummy. :)

I always wanted to be a sexologist, but I would rather to be a researcher, not a therapist. I can just picture myself leaning forward while someone is telling me about their sexual quirks and saying, "Really? Tell me more." while thoughts of my next story ran through my head.